Tuesday, September 11, 2007

The Good...and the Bad

Soooooo.....I am frustrated with myself. I am normally a pretty even tempered gal. I don't have major mood swings, I am generally happy most the time. Not anymore. I continue to be shocked by my emotions. One day I feel pretty good and happy, the next, not so much. I know we have been through a lot, but seriously, it's getting old. We found out yesterday to expect a good 4 months of recovery on Doug's shoulder. I feel bad for him, he can't take anymore of this pain. It is a constant. It's been 9 weeks now, with very little pain relief. Who knows how much longer it will continue. It is exhausting for him, and so hard for me to watch. I find that I am so emotional. I cry easily. Just realized what today was and that makes me cry. I may not have lost my husband. But I know that fear. I know how it feels. So others loss is hard for me. There's this new song by Tim McGraw about a Soldier who dies, and yep, it makes me cry.  So with all this said, I want to list a few things that DO make me happy...

  • Last night Kristen was telling us as she stood in line at school yesterday, one of the boys dads commented on all the pretty girls he was standing by. Then he pointed to Kristen and said "Especially that one". She was laughing as she told us, but quickly turned beet red and was beyond embarrassed and then started to cry. That's my girl. Embarrassment brings her to tears. It was so cute.

  • Jack was full of it last night. Literally. Was passing gas all through FHE, then Scriptures, then prayer. Nathan was in tears he kept laughing so hard. Once that boy starts laughing, he cannot stop. I have no idea what we read last night!

  • I just finished making sandwiches for the kids lunches this morning. Turned my back to get something else. Jack reached Nathans triple decker and had it smooshed to death in seconds. Not very happy that I had to make another, but still, gave us all a good laugh.

  • Yesterday, made pancakes for the kids. I NEVER do that. We all sang along to this song as we ate. I love it when they are all happy and actually love each other!

  • Made myself a To Do List for the week. Hoping to cross some things off. Already started some.

  • Today, I do not have to go anywhere. So happy about that!!!

  • Actually made some cookies last night. Kristen has been begging for weeks now. Yum...cookie dough.

  • Got my new Jenni Bowlin kit. Have every intention of scrap booking soon...wish me luck!
  • Oh ya, I finally learned how to add a link to my blog, Ta Daaaa! I am a bit computer illiterate!
Well, there's the good and the bad of my life right now. Tomorrow I will probably be in a great mood, although this afternoon is looking up as Jack is now in bed and Samantha went to a friends. Yay for me, some quiet time. I'll try to reclaim some sanity.


Stephanie said...

I am right there with you on those mood swings. I hope things get better for you.

Cammie said...

I really enjoyed reading all of those cute stories! Life is great and so hard and funny and crazy all wrapped up into this whole life experience.

I'm sorry for all the pain that Doug is having--It is such a long time to be so uncomfortable and hurting.

crying is good and it helps me to stay sane--cry when you need to. It's a useful release and it's cleansing too.

Fletcher Family said...

Your comments hit a cord with me too. I had surgery on 9/4 and have been in constant pain ever since. Not too bad, but just enough to make me feel like I am going crazy. I feel so bad for Doug too. On 9/6 I was still in the hospital listening to my IPod and one of Caryn's favorite musical goups came on. I realized what day it was and I started bawling! A social worker came to tlk to me later on that day and said to be gentle to myself when I told her about crying. I think it's good advice for everyone.