Photo Shoot #1

Here's one of my little photo shoots with Kristen on Easter. She was a very cooperative subject. These twirly ones are my favorite. Especially the last. The one with her pointing her fingers she is coming around saying "and this is the last one". She's such a beautiful girl!

The Start of our Easter Weekend

Easter practically crept up on me this year. Didn't do much before it was absolutely necessary!

We colored our eggs Saturday night. Of course the kids had fun. Jack thought it was cool. Daddy helped him out with a few. He so wanted to put them in the cups himself but after the first kirplunk! with dye flying everywhere we kinda had to take over that job for him. He learned though. The girls made a few "ugly" eggs. Dipped in every color. It was a challenge to see who's was uglier!

More to come...

Scarred for Life

Every once in a while I'll a get a phone call
that makes my heart race
It could be the time of day
It could be the way they ask for me
It could be the fact that it's a stranger
Sometimes it's not.

Today all the puzzle pieces were in place
My husband...is out of town
He is at a funeral for one of his oldest friends
(that call came at 5:30 am)
and this morning my phone rang
It's the way she addressed me
it was the tone in her voice
and it was someone I didn't know
all of that put together...made my heart STOP
It all took me back to that phone call
I received last summer.

All she needed was a sub for her primary class
It has taken me over an hour to get over my panic
and I feel like I want to cry

Part of it is because I couldn't be with Doug for this
we have no one we can leave the kids with overnight
I am sick over the loss of this friend
It was shocking and so sad for his family

Doug will be home this afternoon

Little Conversations

credits to Heather for this shot

A few days ago Samantha asked me why ladies wear bras. I gave her a few reasons. She accepted that and went on.

Today, we had this conversation:

Her "Mom, do some ladies not wear bras?"

Me (hesitating with wonder at where this is going) "Ya, sometimes, why do you ask?"

Her "Well, yesterday when we were at lunch with daddy, I saw this lady, and she DID NOT have a bra on!" "I could tell"

Me "Ya, I remember her. She was showing lots of skin hu. She wasn't being very modest."

Her "Ya, I don't think she has very much money" (she equates wealth with affording modest clothing...kinda makes sense I guess, it involves more fabric so it must cost more, right?)

Me "Well, honey, your gonna notice that some people just choose to dress that way. Some people like to show lots of skin. It doesn't have to do with how much money they have."

Her "Hu...well, when I am a lady, I am ALWAYS going to wear a bra!"

She's so funny. I love the way she thinks about things. She likes to ponder stuff and figure out how it applies to her. BTW, did ya notice those big ol brown eyes up there? LOVE them.

A little life around our house

Samantha and I played a little game of Life yesterday. She was kickin my butt! Flyin' through the game. I was too busy having 6 children. 2 sets of twins. But I did get to sue her along the way. She was a famous singer, winning awards all the time. But she was careless with her money. Bought expensive things. She may have made it to retirement before me, but I smoked her in the money arena. So, technically, I won.


See all my kids piled on top of each other in the pink car?



We've got another form of life goin' on around here. I love spring. Love to watch my garden grow. See my lavender...it's ginormous! Getting lots of yummy smelly buds. Our sad little lemon tree is coming back again. See those little purple leaves coming out? I LOVE it.

This is my hibiscus. It got huge last summer. We didn't wrap it this winter. I thought it was a gonner for sure, but look...growth among the death. YAY!

I just noticed today the first buds popping out of the grape vines. We decided to plant some strawberries this year. See if they take off. Has anyone done these? I sure hope they work. My mom has a huge strawberry patch my kids love to pick from. I love having plants that my kids can enjoy and eat. Last year we had lots of grapes and the kids loved eating them right off the vine.

We've created a MoNsTer

And his name is J A C K !!!

This boy is naughty.

One of his favorite hobbies seems to be the toilet.

This weekend, we came 2 seconds away from having to REPLACE the toilet.

He had tried to flush a barbie down the toilet. Of course that was too big, but he got something down. We had no idea what it was. Just knew the old toity was not workin' right! Plungered it to near death, even used a hanger to try and scoop the evil out. No luck. Finally, took the toilet off. Still no luck. Sat the toilet back down to head to Home Depot, when POP out came a little foam wall cling (ya know, the kind kids can stick to the bathtub). Ya, he his FORBIDDEN from the bathroom. And he knows it. Every time we catch him in there he runs for his life.

In this shot, he tried to flush a towel down the toilet.

These little babies...they are nerf darts. Nathan got a set for Christmas. Within days we found several beheaded darts in the trash. Hope they tasted good!


This is really the beauty of them all. Mr. Muscles got the entire top off of an Elmer's glue bottle the girls had left out. Who knew he could take the top off, I can barely get the top off! Thank goodness we had a place mat on the table! He was painting himself with it. Trying to cover everything he could when I found him. Funny thing is, big brother was just around the corner the whole time and didn't ever notice the mischief! What good are the other kids if they don't watch out for him!!!! Sheesh. Do I have to do everything!

He's showing us how cool it is. "Look ma!"

Now that's some pasty skin man!

This boy is CONSTANTLY in trouble!

I swear, all I do is clean up after him.

Little Reminders

The Lord seems to always find ways to give me little reminders...to inspire me...to help me carry on. These last 8 months have been hard. The last few months...I've been in a fog. Not feeling as strong, I think, not being carried anymore. Left to my own strength and defenses. I have felt weak. Unable to deal with all the day to day. I have felt like that poem Footprints in the Sand, where there has definitely been only one set (not mine). Then now to come off of that feeling, like I've been carried through the worst of it and now set back down, has been a little hard. I feel like I have been struggling with myself, knowing that I need to work a little harder to feel His strength.

I think being the new year has not helped...the excitement that most people feel for a fresh new year has felt more foreboding to me. Worried at what this year might hold. Not really wanting to embrace it. But I know that if I don't choose to embrace this year I will only end up disappointed with myself for the opportunities that have been lost.

I have still been working on my Art Journal, I have several words to catch up on (though the pages are already in my head), and this relates how you wonder? One of my words is 'fly'. The first thought that came to mind for that word was "i wish i could FLY away". Away from this bad dream we've been living. Away from feeling scared, away from feeling like all of this is preparing us for something else. I want to quit thinking about being in an accident every time I'm in the car. Worrying for the safety of my little family. Knowing that it CAN happen. More than anything, I wish my children did not know these same fears. I pondered doing my page about this for several days, then I remembered. I did fly. I flew in His arms as he carried me through the worst. That is what I want this word to represent. To remember that He knows me and will help me when I need it the most.

I have recently come across some blogs that have been huge reminders for me. That, though this experience has been long and truly hard, others are living through and surviving unimaginable tragedies. It helps to put me in my place. Not that our experience isn't as important, but there is worse. They teach me to be stronger. These experiences are for our strength and learning. Making us better people in some way. Learning lessons He wants us to know. I am constantly amazed by others strength. They are inspirations for me to want to be stronger and to be a better person.

I can honestly say that I have not once asked why us. I haven't felt sorry for myself (at least I don't think I have). The blessings we have received have been overwhelming. There are experiences we could have never learned otherwise. I am so thankful for that. I have seen blessings come to pass. I know what it is like to be carried. And even though I have felt like I want to escape, to be seriously alone for a time, I need to be stronger. I need to be the mother my children need. I need to get on top of my house! I need to find my sense of peace again, my natural happiness. I need to quit being afraid and enjoy everything that I have right now. So, with spring, I am trying to embrace the beauty of a new year. Breaking into the backyard, cleaning it up, enjoying the sound of my children playing outside. Hoping that this summer will be spent as a family out by the pool, bbq's, enjoying each other. Feeling free. That is my hope for this new year, to feel free, to not need as many blessings as we have the past 2 years.

I feel so lucky to be a part of this little blogging world. To constantly be inspired by others strength and to feel support from all of you. To feel like I have a voice and to not be completely isolated. To have my eyes opened, to get that little reality check every once in a while.